Hard-Hardest- Easier-"Under My Feet"?

I have been doing a study on overcoming strongholds - mine obviously is overcoming emotional eating and binging.  The speaker was talking about the "process" of overcoming a stronghold - she said that there are several stages which she labeled as HARD-HARDER-EASIER-UNDER MY FEET.  As I've gone through the weight loss surgery - I'm amazed at how some of my food cravings or old habits are gone.

The first stage of cutting out diet drinks, fast food, sweets and carbs was hard.  The two week pre-op diet I believe is more for getting your mind set for a new way of life more than cleaning your liver!  (OK - I'm not a doctor - but that's a HUGE benefit of doing the two week pre-op diet!).  If you had told me at this time last year that I could go SEVEN months without a Diet Dr. Pepper or Diet 7-up - I would have told you that you were crazy - no way I could give those up.  Well - I do think diet drinks are UNDER MY FEET - that addiction is handled with coffee, iced tea, crystal light and water!

This process was hard at first then did get a little harder as the realization that my eating habits were going to be changed forever - a mourning process was gone through.  But some eating habits are easier now - I do enjoy my protein first lifestyle.  Friday night pizza night is no longer happening but we now have shrimp cocktails on Friday night - not a bad exchange.  Yes - we have had pizza but it won't be something on my weekly menu - just an occasional treat.  Going to eat Mexican food is not really a good idea for me - I can eat the fajita meat but it is just too hard to stay out of the chips & queso - just will occasionally go out to eat there with a group but not very often.  I just told some friends today that most restaurants work for me except Mexican when we were choosing our lunch spot for today - like somewhere I can get seafood or a salad with grilled chicken.

Some habits are still hard - last week my husband (also had WLS) and I went to our favorite sports bar to watch some college football - it WAS very hard for him not to order the HUGE ICE COLD BEER in the cold mug - had iced tea.  None of the fried appetizers we love - I had a salad with chicken- he had wings (probably not his best choice).  But we got to watch the games even though we were mourning our love of onion rings and fried pickle chips.  That wasn't easy and probably not a good choice for restaurants to frequent.

When we go out to eat - it has been pretty easy to ask them not to bring the bread.  When I've been hungry for a burger - I have had a bite of the burger with the bun and then just ate the hamburger patty. We were recently on vacation and went to a dive restaurant which was our only choice on the road - I ordered a burger - thought it was probably a safe choice (but not a safe choice for my diet) in this restaurant cause who knew how fresh their seafood was that was on the menu.  The burger came with a PRETZEL BUN - oh my gosh - it looked and tasted fantastic.  But I took a bite - and then just ate the patty.  French fries aren't my problem if we aren't at McDonalds so those aren't a trigger food for me - give onion rings.

Fast food just really isn't a big part of our lives anymore after years of abusing the restaurants.  I can't say I really miss them but I guess I'm also lucky I'm not running kids around right now for practices and games and having to feed them - makes my life easier.  We do go to Wendy's - my husband likes the chili and we both like their half salads.

But the last part of the process is "Under my Feet" - I'm not sure I will ever get there completely.  I still struggle with wanting carbs.  If I'm eating tuna fish - I want some whole wheat crackers with it.  I want some crackers with my cheese.  I have always been a sugar addict and do control that with some sugar free candy, greek yogurt, sugar free popsicles & fudge sickles, etc.  I'm worried about the holiday season coming up - I absolutely love pumpkin and gingerbread and all the holiday sweets.  We have a family tradition of giving close friends Reindeer Food (puppy chow) on Christmas Eve - can I make that and not eat it??  Got some thinking to do and menu planning to work out.  Not sure Reindeer Food will still be made - might be like Mexican Food - just better to avoid it.

Our speaker talking about this process made me realize how far along on this journey I have come - never would I have believed I've come so far in changing my eating habits and never would I have thought it would be easy to say "NO" to a Diet Coke - not a big deal for many but a HUGE deal for me.  (And who knows how bad they really are but for me - not a part of my life for now - I won't say never cause I know how that can come back and haunt me...).  I've been so focused on losing weight that I'd lost sight of how many changes in our lifestyle that we have made- and how most of them really are not that big of a deal now.

Struggling at 6 Months out!

I am thrilled I had my surgery 6 months ago today!  I'm a little past halfway where I want to be - 56 pounds down.  Just wanted to let everybody know who is starting out or looking into the gastric sleeve that you DO have to stick with the program  - the weight does not continue to fall off without you working hard to stay on track.  Even if you aren't eating as many calories as you used too - it's still work - can't halfway do this and expect too lose weight.

I was doing great until I hit a bump in the road with some family problems - we all have them - that's life.  During this time - I was traveling & not totally staying on program and was thrilled with a 13 pound weight loss during a 6 week period of stress.  Now that the problem is resolved and I'm back at home - getting back on track has been hard - also dealing with emotional issues from the family problems.

Every Monday I would say - this is the day I'm going to get back to recording everything in My Fitness Pal, eat totally on plan, etc.  For a 3 week period I only saw a loss of 1/2 pound a week - I know I was eating too many calories but quit entering into MFP when I knew I wasn't eating right - bad habits coming back.

I also started working out 3 times a week with a new trainer.  This past week I've FINALLY gotten there - back on track recording my food & have lost 2 pounds this week.  Recording your food makes all the difference in the world.  Went back to some protein shakes for a couple of meals, lots of liquid - no carbs for a few days, and strict on calorie counts.

I'm totally struggling with emotional eating at night - just because we have this surgery does not mean that the emotional eating issues go away - they must be dwelt with.  I am planning a snack at night to help me.  I find myself wanting the crunch - was loving Blue Diamond Nut Crackers - you can have a bunch for 130 calories but these were not good for me - triggered my carb impulses so no more.

This isn't easy - going to happy hour with my friends and I'm ordering iced tea and a shrimp ****tail if they order food so I don't eat the pizza & other appetizers they order.  It's not the end of the world that I'm eating a delicious shrimp ****tail but I'd still rather be eating the pizza.

I still wouldn't trade this experience for anything in the world - just wanted to point out that the program works when we follow it - high protein, lots of water, low carb, exercise and recording your food.  Not impossible to do but easy to get off track and slow down the weight loss.  I don't want to be one of those who quits losing weight after 6 months.  I have to deal with my emotional eating issues - UGH!



   

Emotional Eating

I think in my last blog I was bragging about how well I did losing weight during the last couple of stressful months with my mom breaking her hip and eventually passing away.  I'm so thankful for the sleeve because it did allow me to lose weight during this stressful time.  But I also think part of the weight loss was that I was so busy, running on adrenaline, cleaning out my mother's apartment then nursing home room, and very active.  I did not take my pedometer - wish I had of -lots of steps every day!

Today it's three weeks out since my mother died and I'm having more time to process things.  And I'm having a hard time staying out of the kitchen snacking - I'm constantly wanting to eat.  I'm not hungry - just have the urge to munch.  I was up 2 pounds this week so yes - it is a battle.  (So much for me bragging about how well I was doing while out-of-town.)  I've been back on My Fitness Pal - I wasn't logging my food consistently during the last couple of months.  When I logged my food - my calories were way up - 1000 -1200.  I wasn't eating anything terrible - no cookies or other sweets (which is what I love) but the gluten free Rice crackers, popcorn, and other carbs.  Guess when you do eat carbs you crave more carbs.

My plan of action - up my exercise, log my food, try to deal with my emotions instead of eating them, and get more water in.  Since my problem is mainly at night after dinner, I'm trying to eat a more satisfying dinner at night - maybe more fat plus protein so I'm not craving food as much.  My internist is always saying we need some fat in our diet to keep us satisfied.  Maybe the weight loss will be a little slower during this time, but I've got to get a handle on the emotional eating and go through the grieving process.

I've gone back to the personal trainer and have upped my sessions from two a week to thee times a week.  I hate to exercise and find any excuse not to go so hopefully meeting a trainer will take those excuses away.  My gym & trainer that I feel comfortable with is closing this week so I've been looking at all my options - have found one and a new trainer for the next month so hopefully my game plan will work.  I was really worried about me just staying home being depressed and not getting out of the house.  I'm about halfway from my goal-still overweight - so I still feel like a fat person walking into these gyms checking them out - don't like the ones with all the beautiful people.  I also don't like the "meathead" trainers I've met who have been giving me tours asking me my "fitness" goals - can't they just tell I'm a 55 year old overweight woman who needs to lose weight and get in shape?? Ugh!  - guess that's a topic for another blog.

I am down a pound today from upping the exercise - now I just need to keep up with the food logging and water.  This is a journey - not an overnight process.  I do have emotions - just need to realize that and not eat them away.  So grateful I've had the surgery - I do feel like I can reach my goal.  Oh and a NSV (non scale victory) - I can cross my legs now!!!

Stress & Traveling!

My91 year old mother passed away last Friday night.  I'm very thankful I was able to travel and be there a few hours before she died.  I'm also thankful God was gracious and did not let her hang on for months - she did not want to be in a nursing home no matter how nice it was.  She wanted to be active and blowing and going!

I'm so thankful I have had this surgery - I just weighed this morning and lost 2.2 pounds this past week while traveling, planning a funeral and going through the funeral!  And the best news of all was I had to buy a funeral dress and I bought my first dress in a NORMAL SIZE -  not a woman's size!!  My mother would be so proud!!  I also proudly got my picture taken with my family - no longer hiding in the very back!  I'm halfway from where I want to be but have so much more self-confidence now - it's a great feeling!  I've lost 13 pounds since this stressful situation started on Mother's Day - that is so hard for me to believe that I can go through a stressful situation and lose weight!

I also realize the next few months will be hard as I will always be an emotional eater and I have to go through the grieving process -  I think I'm in shock right now.  I need to get back on track with my water & protein, logging into My Fitness Pal and exercising - it would be very easy to fall into depression.  I do have some good friends and family support to help keep me on track.  I do love my carbs so I'm going to have to watch that - I love to snack.  Plan, plan and more planning my food.

It was fun seeing a couple of friends who had had no idea I'd had the surgery - they didn't want to say anything at the funeral about me losing weight - so I had to bring it up to them. They were happy! I still have a hard time telling how much weight I've lost as I'm embarrassed at where I started - but I did tell them!  My husband got all the attention - he's lost 70 pounds since this process started - he looks great!  I guess people have no problem talking to men about their weight - very proud of us both!

Major Stresses in Life...

I haven't blogged this past month as I've had some major stress in my life.  We all are going to face challenges in life and have to learn how to handle our emotions and stressful eating.  Last year when I faced a similar challenge, I gained probably 15 - 20 pounds.  This year - I feel like the gastric sleeve has helped me cope - I'm in control of my eating - but I can't control other things such as my mother's health.

I'm going to write about how I handled my eating but also document the experience I went through for my own piece of mind - helps to journal - read any parts you want too!!  I know most people aren't interested in every detail of my experience - just how I handled the dieting part.

MOM'S BROKEN HIP & WRIST:  On Mother's Day weekend I flew to visit my 91 year old mother for a planned visit - she did live in an independent living apartment with assistance coming in every day to help with medicine, meals, and bathing.  She did not answer my phone calls or knock on her door.  I had to get security to let me in and I found her fallen on the floor but conscious (but did not know how I was) - we still don't know how long she had been there.  We called the ambulance and off to the hospital we went -  she had broken her hip and wrist.  Her Mother's Day gift was surgery on the hip and wrist - UGH! Last August she had fallen and broken her femur on her other leg and managed to rehab and return to her apartment - that's when I had gained the 15-20 pounds.  She has also suffered from small strokes (TIA's) this past year but still is mentally aware.

FOOD:  As I was nervous about traveling for the Mother's Day weekend at 3 months post-op - I already had packed snacks in my suitcase & purse which definitely came in handy.  I had Crystal Light packets for bottles of water - I used one of those while we were in the emergency room.  I also had some sugar-free Altoids in my purse - really good as I felt my breath was probably horrible spending all night in the emergency room. A Quest bar in my purse was also great as I had not planned on spending the night in the emergency room.

FOOD:  I went to a local grocery store and bought greek yogurt, baby bel cheese, tuna fish & nut crackers - my hotel gave me a medical rate and had a refrigerator in the room - a lifesaver for those of us trying to eat healthy.  At the hospital cafeteria, I could sometimes get fish or baked chicken and took cups of grapes for an afternoon snack. I also ate cottage cheese for meals.  The hospital had a small coffee shop where I could get skinny latte's with sugar free syrups - great treat!!  I also went to a local GNC and got the ready-to-drink shakes I like & more Quest Bars - I like the apple pie & chocolate chip cookie dough the best.  I would eat the greek yogurt for breakfast instead of eating the free hotel breakfast buffet - I can't eat eggs & am not a big breakfast eater so yogurt worked great for me.  On the breakfast buffet's they would only have regular yogurts - I ate those a couple of times.  Also got oatmeal a couple of times.

FOOD:  I have eaten out a lot these past few weeks with my brother & sister. No problem at most restaurants - would order a steak, salad & baked sweet potato and mostly eat the steak and a few bites of salad and potato.  If we went to a Mexican restaurant, I would order fajitas.  I tried a few bites of tortilla - but they really were not fantastic so I just ended up eating the fajita meat.  I did have a couple of chips and queso but not a whole basket as before surgery. No alcohol - not sure how I would react. When ordering lunch for my mom at sandwich shops, I would order a half a turkey sandwich on whole wheat for me - to be honest - I've had a couple of potato chips with the sandwich.  But not the whole bag - just a couple of chips were enough.  As I have a massive sweet tooth, I got some sugar-free candy at Walgreen's - and would have 3-4 pieces of it at night.

WEIGHT LOSS:  I tried to keep up with My Fitness Pal and was successful a few days a week with it.  I know I was not getting enough water & protein in.  I did eat too many carbs also.  But I'm thrilled to report that even with this stress & no regular exercise - I lost 6 lbs last month.  I'm amazed & so happy!!
I do feel the need to stress eat at this time but have been trying to keep healthy food with me to eat - Quest bars, grapes, nuts, etc.  Lots of iced tea and water.   Doing the best I can.  BUT PLANNING IS THE KEY EVEN THROUGH STRESSFUL TIMES!  I can do this - I feel like the sleeve has given me the tool to succeed!!

BROKEN HIP:  Off to a rehab facility we go three days after surgery - we (the family) think hospitals release you way too soon.  Rehab is a necessary evil as the therapists and nurses have to push you to get up and going - which I understand because no one is going to get well lying in bed.  My mom was in the best rehab in the area. But it is so hard at 91 years old - my mother was so weak and absolutely hates to do the rehab.  This time it was even harder than it had been in August.  All the doctors at the hospital told us how hard it is for someone at her age to recover from a broken hip but we knew we had to give it a try.  The nurses would put my mom in a wheelchair and would not let us put her back in bed - she would lean her head on the tray and just moan - it was just horrible for us to watch.  But if she was going to recover, she needed to sit up for a few hours each day.   Physical therapy was tough because she was so weak - they put her in a "stand" for a few minutes to try and build her stamina.  She was only on the narcotic pain meds for a week and then went to extra-strength Tylenol - the narcotics just made her crazy.  I think the rehabs are more geared for the patients in their 60's and 70's that have more energy and stamina.  All the nurses are overworked - have so many patients to take care of.  Some nurse techs better than others - just depends on who is working - and again - we were at the best facility in the area.  The nursing director at the facility was awesome - loved my mom - but I feel like she was the only one who liked her. In their defense -  Mom is a very demanding diva - always has been - Type A - doesn't like to be told what to do. As we had been in this facility twice last August - we knew what to expect and they knew her.  If we hadn't had a close family friend on the board of this facility, I doubt they would have let her back in.

But after giving you all that background on the rehab, my mom didn't last long at rehab as I walked in after 3 days at rehab and found my mom having a TIA - the nurse on duty noticed she couldn't tell you her name and where she was and didn't report those symptoms to the nursing directors.  The nurses are overworked and just thought she was sleepy and hadn't woken up yet.  Off to the hospital we go - nothing showed up on the hospital tests but we are there for another 5 days.  Back to rehab we go - this time she just lasts 4 hours - just long enough for me to get her settled - leave her with my sister - and get on the road home.  I make it 4 hours down the highway when I get a call from my sister that my mom is having another TIA.  Back to the hospital she goes.  Nothing shows up on cat scan but it's obvious she's had a TIA - small stroke - nothing we can do.  It's really affected her speech but her mind is there. We had a wonderful speech therapist that helped us so much.

This time we realize that she just isn't up for rehab - and cannot go back to her independent living facility even with help as she cannot walk.  Assisted living is also out - she can't walk to the bathroom.  I check out the nursing home facility at her complex - walked in and immediately walked out -just horrible.  We find a beautiful nursing facility - I had checked it out last August when we were concerned about her being able to rehab her broken femur (which she did recover from).  My brother came and all three of us decided that this is where she would go.

When the case worker at the hospital told my mom that she was having to go to a nursing home, she said, "Just take a gun and shoot me" - not what she wants no matter how nice the facility is.  Even at this nice facility, some care givers are better than others and the food is horrible.  Her church family is wonderful and are checking on her every day when we are not there.

We've moved her out of her apartment and stored many of her things and brought some things home.  We are going to try and alternate being there every couple of weeks - would like to have moved her to where we live but she just got sick to fast - would cost us a fortune to fly her here.  I'm not sure how long she has to live - just want her to be happy and secure in her last days.  She does not qualify for Hospice Inpatient care and while she is doing physical therapy at the nursing home - she does not qualify for Hospice Home Care.

I feel like we've made the best possible decision for our mother at this stage of her life but it is so stressful not being able to be there every day.  It is so hard not to be in control of a situation - I just have to trust God to handle the situation.  Now that I'm home for a couple of weeks, I'm having a stress headache - delayed reaction to all I've been through.  And I know people who are going through much worse problems than me - my mom has had a very full happy healthy life - I'm thankful but still stressed!  But I'm SO thankful for this sleeve which has helped me maintain some control over my eating.

Reversing my Path!

I'm a mom of two boys - when my kids were pre-teens - we ended getting into dirt bikes and 4 wheelers.  As I didn't want to get stuck at home by myself, I decided to join them in their adventures and we got me a 4 wheeler also.  We've been riding these for years at a place with 110 acres and miles and miles of trails, fire roads, etc. to ride on.  Now - I'm a girlie girl - don't like camping - but I found I've loved getting out there in the middle of the woods.  There's always something new to see - wildflowers, deer, cows, beaver dams, etc.  And it's been a lot of fun connecting with the boys and my husband out there in the wilderness!

My husband and I went riding yesterday on a beautiful day.  The place where we ride has arrows showing you which way to ride on the trails.  Imagine my surprise when we went to ride one of our favorite trails and the owners of the place had reserved the direction the trails went.  As the trails were before , I didn't have to concentrate as hard because I knew what would be around each bend on some of our favorite trails we rode a lot.  Now as we went along, I had to really pay attention to the trail  - half the time I didn't even recognize where we were going as I was so turned around.  I don't like change - I was wishing things would go back the way they had been before!

As we were going along on the reversed trails, I started thinking about how the reversed trails were kinda of an analogy on our new lifestyle.  My husband and I are both reserving the direction of the damage we had done to our bodies with our unhealthy diet and lifestyles. Our medications have definitely been decreased!  This new path has us both paying attention to our road or "diet" as we have to log our meals in My Fitness Pal to keep track of what we are eating - can't just cruise along as we were before because that just got us in trouble - eating more fat & calories than we needed.  I did run off the trail once yesterday and my hubby had to come rescue me to get me back on track - yes - I suspect we will run into problems on this new journey with food temptations but we will need to get ourselves right back on track.

As my husband is a more experienced rider than me, he took me on some challenging trails yesterday.  We are empty nesters so he's stuck riding with me most of the time!  Now - I like the easy trails - I don't want any challenges - don't take me on the trails where I have to go up & down some hills and be scared.  But you know what - I faced the challenges and made it through those tough trails!  Just like with this new lifestyle with VSG, I'm going to face challenges and rough times - just got to face them head on and put my foot on the accelerator and go!!  It takes a while to get your head around these new challenges and thought processes - we just can't go on cruise control with our past bad habits and behaviors.  It takes me awhile to accept change and get my head around it.

Different challenges are going to come up - traveling, holiday eating, stalls, illness, boredom, cravings, etc.  - I'm going to have to keep up with this new "reversed path" and healthy lifestyle and put my foot on the accelerator and accept the challenge.  I can do it!!  Thank goodness I have a new tool (or accelerator) - VSG - to help in the process!!

MONDAY UPDATE:  Yippee!  I got on the scale this morning and I was down 3.4 lbs for the week!  I'm 11 weeks post-op and down 37.6 lbs since I started this process.  I've been going to the gym 3 times a week for weights and cardio - two of those times with a trainer - and walking 2 days a week.  This is huge for me as I don't like to exercise!

My husband is down around 50 lbs at 7 weeks out including his pre-op diet.  He is not exercising and is  not tracking his food quite as religiously as I am.  I'm having to bite my tongue to keep from nagging him.  It's amazing how much better he feels - I'm so happy to see the twinkle in his eye back as he's had a rough year with shingles complications.

New Normals!

As we go through different seasons of our life, we have to adjust our thinking and our actions to accept the "new normals" of our lives.  As my husband and I have both had VSG, we are experiencing new normals every day.  I have to get my head around the facts that this is my new life - small portions, protein based diet, low carbs, no diet drinks (still miss every day), exercising, and planning for meals and snacks. Here's a list of some of my NEW NORMALS!!


1.   Getting off medications
2.   Having the twinkle back in my husband's eye as he feels better than he has in a year!!
3.   Packing lunch for my husband in his bento box every day
4.   Packing snacks in my Vera Bradley Lunch Box
5.   Crystal Light Mojito
6.   Baggy pants
7.   Saggy bra cups
8.   Clearer skin
9.   Hearing "Wow - I can really tell in your face that you've lost weight!"
10.  My Fitness Pal
11.  Having to always average my weekly weight loss to keep from getting discouraged when only lose      one pound or not at all. Currently at 3.74 lbs a week.  Yeah!
12.  Trying not to compare myself to others on message boards.
13.  Reading OH daily to keep inspired.
14.  For Fast Food - getting Chick-fil-et grilled chicken nuggets kids meal with iced tea
15.  Sonic Happy Hour - getting unsweet Route 44 Iced Tea with sugar free Mint flavoring (also sugar free Mango, Peach, etc)
16.  Looking forward to snacks such as Greek Yogurt & Baby Bel cheese
17.  Exercising - still have to make myself go to the gym or for a walk (this hasn't gotten easier)
18.  Feeling excited about the future!
19.  Vitamins -( loving Calcium Citrate chews instead of Starbursts)
20.  Talking daily to hubby about our constipation problems and bathroom successes and failures??

Slow Weight Loss????

Okay, last week was my toughest week as far as wanting to snack and just having slow weight loss for the past couple of weeks.  But I powered through it, worked out 3 times at the gym with weights & cardio, walked a couple of times and LOST 3 POUNDS!!  WOO HOO!!  My husband was also out-of-town and I didn't overeat without him here (might have happened in the past!).

I discovered that Sonic has unsweetened iced tea with sugar-free flavorings to add - I love the Mint with Splenda added to my tea.  I order a Route 44 (biggest size) and a cup of Sonic Ice to go.  If you go between 2-5, you get HAPPY HOUR prices - half off!  Yeah!  I still miss my diet drinks so this is helping.

I have also found that when I eat beef such as a steak - I don't get hungry for a long time - must be the dense protein takes a while to digest.  I haven't eaten beef very much but think I'll start having it more.  I also have been looking at My Fitness Pal and think that cheese and crackers are not a good snack for me - I love the crackers too much.  Guess I need to try cheese with an apple or other fruit.  I love the Baby Bels!

Okay stats - two weeks pre-op diet I lost 10 lbs.  One month post-op - 12.6 lbs.  Second Month - 11.6 lbs.  Average weight loss - 3.42 lbs a month.  So why am I whining about being a slow loser??? Just not every week is a 3 lb loss - some weeks are not losses or just a pound.  It all evens out.  I'm not sure what my goal will be but if I want to lose 100 pounds - I'm a 1/3 of the way there with 34.2 pounds lost!! I'm a happy camper!!

Normally I'm be Giving Up by now.....

Okay, at 8 weeks post-op I'm hanging in there.  On other diets, I'd be ready to hang it up by now - I'd be tired of the slow results.  The last two weeks I've had slow weight loss but the scale is moving.  For example, last week I just lost one pound.  I don't know why I'm a slow loser but the good thing is I can't "quit" my sleeve.

I'm getting kinda scared of how much more I can eat now - yesterday I did not put my food into My Fitness Pal until the end of the day and I ended up eating almost a 1000 calories - not bad foods just too much of the good foods!  My NUT wants me at 1200 - 1400 calories a day but I want to stay around 600-800 calories a day as the veterans on the Obesity Helps recommend and have had success with.  I do get hungry every couple of hours - so I need to be conscious of eating healthy high-protein foods every two hours - or low cal foods then.  Also, I need to get my water in.  Ugh!

I'm finding myself wanting to snack more now that I'm further out - not a good sign.  I've been trying not to eat after dinner at night but now I'm finding that I'm really hungry a couple of hours after dinner and my water isn't cutting it.  I'm going to need to plan a good snack for after dinner.  The past 3 nights I've grazed too much - crackers & cheese, another whole wheat Ritz cracker here or there or a graham cracker.  Maybe I'm eating too many carbs with the crackers and that's causing my cravings for something to eat.  Is it emotional eating cause I'm maybe bored at night?  I don't want this weight loss to end - I need to keep working my high protein - low carb new lifestyle.  At least I'm not giving up as I usually would by now!!

Onederland!

I can't believe I reached Onederland again!  I was last there in 2007 after dieting for months on a high protein monitored diet (Quick Weight Loss).  I never thought I'd gain the weight back plus some extra pounds - such is the life of a yo-yo dieter!

I have mixed emotions about reaching this goal - I thought I'd be happier.  The weight is coming off slowly too me with lots of scale fluctuations so I thought I could be right back up on the scale the next day - I didn't.  I also haven't told anybody how much I weigh - except my husband now knows - so I couldn't celebrate with friends - I'm ashamed of how much I weigh.

I also look down at my body and all I can see is how big my stomach is and how far I have to go.  Why can't I be happy I'm down 30 lbs and celebrate?  I gotta work on my head and celebrate these victories as they come!  Never have I lost 30 lbs in 9 weeks - it's always taken a lot longer for me to lose weight. Time to schedule a facial for my reward!  Next small goal - 189!!

My Menu...

As I'm seven weeks out now, I feel like I'm getting my diet down.  The weight is coming off slowly - last week 3.7 pounds - this week only 1.8 pounds.  Including my pre-op diet for 2 weeks, I'm averaging 3.44 pounds a week -  YEAH!!

What I'm eating for breakfast:

Protein coffee -coffee w/scoop Syntha-6 Cookies & Cream protein powder
or Oatmeal -with tsp of Splenda Brown Sugar Blend
or GNC Lean Shake - Vanilla Bean - 170 Cal 25 gr protein

Lunch:

Boars Head Turkey rollup with baby swiss cheese -
Tuna Fish Salad with egg & 3 whole wheat Ritz Crackers

Dinner:

Rottissiere Chicken  Baked Sweet Potato with Butter
Steak & Green Beans
Shrimp Cocktail w/ Cocktail Sauce
Salmon

Snacks:

Dannon Light & Fit Greek Yogurt & Graham Cracker
Cheese & crackers
Sugar Free Popsicle
GNC Lean Shake
Half a Quest Bar
Cottage Cheese

I probably shouldn't be eating the whole wheat Ritz Crackers or a graham cracker but I can't tell you how much I enjoy the crunch of the crackers!  We've started going out to eat a little = I've had the Chick-fil-et kids meal with 4 grilled chicken nuggets with the Chick-fil-et Sauce - awesome (but I don't eat their applesauce - too much sugar).  We've eaten at our favorite seafood restaurant - I love their salmon on a cedar plank - have enough for 3 meals.  I also got a crab cake last week with a salad - ate half the crab cake and a few bites of the salad with no problem.  I felt guilty about the crab cake because it was fried but I still lost weight the next day.  I absolutely love baked sweet potatoes with butter - I eat so little of it as I eat my protein first - but the few bites of sweet potato that I do eat are awesome! I go ahead and fix it with butter because I know I'm eating such a small amount and I refuse to eat margarine. I also love the Dannon Greek Yogurt - yes - I'm eating the ones with the fruit on the bottom  - blueberry, cheery, strawberry and pineapple - but they are only 70 calories, 7 grams of sugar and 12 grams of protein- delicious treat!

I've averaging between 600-800 calories a day with 60-80 grams of protein- probably a few too many carbs but I do enjoy when I eat them!  I still can't believe I've been sticking too this diet for 9 weeks now with no diet cokes, no cookies or candy, and no pizza or chips!  I'm taking this a day at time - so far totally doable!  Yeah me!

Quit Comparing Myself!

I've been reading the weight loss surgery websites religiously since I began researching the VSG surgery.  They have been full of information for me.  I love the www.obesityhelp.com site the most but also like www.thinnertimes.com and www.gastricsleeve.com. On all the sites, everyone seems to ask the same questions about stalls, constipation, hair loss, carbs, and exercise.  The veterans are mostly patient about answering these questions over and over again.  I appreciate their wisdom!

I'm having a hard time reading these websites and hearing about how fast so many people are losing weight - not me at this time yet!  It is hard not to compare yourself and to give props to yourself when you know you are eating the right amount of protein and low carbs & calories.  I've been getting around 70 grams of protein a day and keeping the calories under 800.  I will admit - getting 64 oz of water in each day is hard and I'm probably not there yet.  I've been exercising about 3 times a week - some weeks more.  I could also up my exercise.

Last week I lost 3.7 lbs - this week I'm stalled right above the 200 lb mark - I'm so close to onederland! Monday - 200.8, Tuesday 200.4, Wednesday 200.2, Thursday 200.4, Friday 200.6, Saturday 200.4 - UGH!!  Frustrating!

One day this week I had book club with my friends - we always go to a restaurant.  I ate a grilled shrimp appetizer that worked fine for my eating plan.  But when I was home that afternoon, I really wanted to binge eat.  Why??  I need to figure out why - did I feel insecure around my skinny friends?  Did it bother me that they were all planning on going to a formal charity gala and were looking at photographs of the dresses they were wearing (We aren't going - our choice)?  Maybe next year I could look good in a cocktail or formal dress but I'm not there yet.  Ok, it did make me feel insecure.

I'm a work in progress!  I need to work on not comparing myself to others on the weight loss and realize that some day I do have the hope of looking good in a dress!  Any other time in the past when dieting, when feeling insecure I would go home and binge eat and feel guilty about cheating on the diet.  Now I can't because of the restriction - I'm proud of myself for getting through that day without eating all day - I could have grazed all afternoon - eaten crackers for example - but I didn't.  Okay - I did have two whole wheat Ritz crackers - but that's it.  And I put them in My Fitness Pal - was accountable to myself.

Trainer!

As exercising is a struggle for me, I got a trainer this week.  I need to be accountable to someone as it is so easy for me to skip exercising if it's too hot, too cold, rainy, my knees hurt, have a headache, my dog needs her belly rubbed, etc.  My friend Milli is a trainer at the gym I go too - I've hesitated to ask her before to work with me since we are friends but decided I'd rather work with someone I know rather than a man or a stranger.

My first session was yesterday - it went well - I did weights in between sessions on the treadmill, arc cycler and the recumbent bike.  As I've been avoiding abdominal exercises, it was good to have someone work with me on that!  It was good having someone make sure I was doing the exercise correctly.  I wanted to call her last night and complain because I was so sore last night!  I took my tylenol before I went to bed!  Today I'm still sore - of course I need to move to make the soreness go away - I'm working on that motivation...

I'm planning on working with her twice a week and going to the gym at least one more time a week.  The other days I need to be walking.  Not only do I need to be moving for the weight loss, but also for my heart disease.  I wish I loved to exercise - nope - but at least I'm being accountable for now!!

Energy's Back!

I think I can finally say - at six weeks out - that my energy is back!  Monday at the gym I was able to do the treadmill longer without dying!!  I'm breaking up the treadmill into 10 minute segments - I was at 13 minutes before I knew it- last week I was dying 5 minutes into it.  Getting my butt into the gym was a little easier this week - people there are being nice. I decided to set up two sessions a week with my friend who is a trainer to help me with weights and to make sure I get there.  I don't have a working out buddy to make me accountable.  

I also went to Zumba yesterday - I couldn't do everything - walked through some of the routines but at least I was moving.  I also left 15 minutes early before they started their "killer abs" work - for some reason doing abdominal exercises scare me - could it be that I don't have any abdominal muscles as I hate doing any abdominal exercises and haven't done them in the last year at all???  

I know I'm losing but everyday I keep looking at my arms to see if there is any difference - I don't want to have any plastic surgery.  So far I still have "bat wings".  Please go away.  My boobs are getting smaller as I see my bra cups looking a little empty.  That's fine with me - I'd love for the girls to get smaller.  

Pretty exciting journey!!!

Scale's moving!!!

My scale is moving - yeah!! This week I'm six weeks out and have had my best loss since the first week out of surgery - that week it was 10 pounds.  This past week I lost 3.6 pounds! I lost the 10 pounds and then went on a 16 day stall.  Then it was like 1 lb,  2 lbs, 2 1/2, and now 3.6 lbs. I'm down a total of 28.2 pounds - that's 3.5 pounds a week since this process began.  I'll take it!!

I'm eating between 600-800 calories and getting between 60-90 grams of protein a day.  I'm not counting my carbs but not eating that many.  As I miss a "crunch", I do have 3 Whole Wheat Ritz Crackers with the turkey roll-ups or an occasional graham cracker with my greek yogurt.  I'm loving the Dannon Light & Fit Greek Yogurts - the blueberry & cherry are currently my favorites.  I'm having a protein coffee most mornings - helps get my digestive system going as far as the bathroom is concerned.   Getting my water in is a problem - gotta work on that.

Exercise, exercise.  I wish I loved to exercise.  It's not getting easier for me to get my butt in the gym - last week I just went twice (ok- it was my birthday week - doesn't that count for a good excuse?).  I also didn't walk as much as I had been - I'm wearing my Fitbit so it measures my steps.  UGH! Maybe I'll go back to Zumba this week - I do love that but not sure my fitness level is up to do the whole hour.

I'm glad to see a lot of positive results 6 weeks out!  I'm 6/10 a pound away from onederland!!! WhooHoo!! Down 28.2 pounds total!!

25 Pounds Down - Nobody's noticed??

I had a great birthday week!  I got together with two different sets of friends for lunch and I've noticed that my girlfriends seem to be reluctant to compliment me on my weight loss or they just don't see it yet.  My husband is very complimentary!  My one friend called me after lunch and told me that she could tell I'd lost in my face but didn't want to say anything in front of everybody because she didn't know who knew I'd had surgery.  She also told me she couldn't tell in my clothes - I guess I haven't worn
form-fitting clothes in so long that it is hard for people to tell when I have lost weight.  I know that my pants are a smaller size and I'm fitting into smaller clothes.

Going out-to-lunch with friends was a new post-op experience for me - I'm 5 weeks out and am on soft foods.  I noticed that they were all keeping an eye on what I ordered and how much I ate.  I was surprised at how fast everybody ate and how I was still eating when they were finished.  At both lunches I ordered a chicken dish with mashed potatoes and green beans - food I knew I could tolerate very easily.  It was hard to eat slow and not drink along with my meal - I kept reaching for that glass - but would stop myself.  I did eat 2-3 ounces of chicken, a few bites of potatoes & beans, and took home the rest of the food for later.  Fun lunches!

I'm amazed at when people know I've had this surgery, they have to tell me their dieting stories - how they've lost the 10 pounds they needed too.  I have to pretend to be polite and listen but inside it is so hard!  How can they tell an obese person their dieting successes when all they have to lose is 10 pounds?  They can't relate to what an obese person has to go through to lose weight - we've been losing that same 10 pounds over and over and put on more and more as we go.  "Yes, I'm happy you have it figured out with your diet and exercise programs but please STOP!!"  I know they are just trying to relate to me and be nice - I have to work on my attitude!!!

Time to keep plugging along - someday people will notice I've lost weight!!

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Well - today is my 55th birthday!  Can't believe I'm this old!  For the first time in a long time, I'm really excited about the new direction my life is taking - all because of the VSG surgery!  I have HOPE that I can finally get this weight off that has been a part of my life for so long.  I'm 5 weeks post-op and with the two week pre-op diet, I've been eating right for 7 weeks - and I'm down 25-26 pounds!!  Usually at this point in a diet, I start getting discouraged because the weight always comes off slowly- I'm averaging 3.7 lbs a week.  I just had to do that math because I had a 16 day stall, lost 2 1/2 pounds 2 weeks ago, and about 2 pounds last week.  That felt really slow to me but to see 3.7 lbs average is really exciting for me!

This is the first Easter ever that I did not have a bite of something sweet ever - the pastel malted milk eggs are one of my favorite candies ever - not a bite.  This time of year is always hard when I got started on my  usual January diet with first the Super Bowl, then Girl Scout Cookies, Valentine's Day, then Easter.  On every other diet I've done, I've always given in to a little bit of temptation on these days- right now I'm so strong because I'm scared to start with the sweets as it might put me over the edge.  I'm also scared to eat anything off plan because of how my sleeve will react.  Wow - now I've got to work on my head because I know next year my resolve won't be as strong.  

My husband is doing great three weeks post-op - the weight is falling off of him!  He's losing 2 lbs to my every 1/2 lb!  And he's feeling better than he has in a long time.  He probably has more energy than me.  I'm so grateful we are doing this together - makes our small meal planning kinda fun.  We've been packing his lunch every day with yogurt, applesauce, turkey roll-ups, & soup.  That has been working out well - he was used to getting fast food almost every day for lunch (which he loves).  

Now I'm off to celebrate with friends - lunch then Casablanca on the big screen. My husband and I decided not to go out to eat tonight (we would usually go for a nice steak dinner to celebrate) but I think we are going to have some cocktail shrimp for dinner.  I've looked at the restaurant menu where I'm going to lunch today and I'm ordering a chicken dinner.  Can't wait until I can eat salad again - and I can't believe I'm saying that!  

Feeling very encouraged about life - it's going to be a great year!!!

My Heart Attack in 2007

In April 2007, I had a heart attack in the middle of my son's baseball season his senior year.  I was 47, had been dieting that year and had lost around 30 lbs or more doing a high protein diet.  My son's baseball season was definitely stressful as we couldn't always understand the changes the coach would make concerning our son's playing time.  Yes, I was definitely a biased baseball parent.  The following is an account of my heart attack experience that I wrote a couple of days afterward.

April 14, 2007
"Monday night (after working my concession shift at the JV HS baseball game), I started having pain between my shoulder blades (like a knife in my back), both arms ached, my breastbone hurt, my teeth hurt, etc. and I could not get comfortable no matter what I did.  I took Tums, Rolaids, Bayer Asprin, etc. with no relief. I had not eaten dinner so I was praying it was indigestion - was dreaming about that "purple pill" which I did not have. 

My husband called our internist that morning and took me into see him. He did an EKG and that did not show any major changes - he thought that there was only a 20% chance it was my heart but he sent me to the ER and had a cardiologist meet me there. After viewing the EKG from the ER, the ER (male) and the cardiologist (male) also did not think it was my heart but wanted to keep me there to find out the results of the blood enzyme levels and to run a treadmill stress test the next day. 

At this point, we are ready to check me out - son has a game that night, I was feeling a little better, then the ER doc comes in and says "I was wrong - the blood tests show an elevation in the enzymes that relate to the heart." Immediately to the ICU I go!! No baseball game for us! (they won by the way without us!)  Our son did not find out I had a heart attack until after the game.

I am one lucky gal!  I had a heart cath the next morning - showed a blockage - had the angioplasty and a stent put in. I immediately felt better! I was amazed at how loose all the staff was at the heart cath lab - they were all joking around.

I got to come home the very next day (last night) and have already walked 20 minutes this morning due to the doc's orders! Technology is amazing!

So gals, my cholesterol levels were ok - my good cholesterol is low, I had already lost 30 pounds this year trying to get healthier (hurts my feelings that this happened), but years of abuse and family history I guess took its toll.

Only bad news is that my son was supposed to have his spring signing on April 11th at school that got cancelled due to me in the hospital - he is going to play D2 ball at Colorado School of Mines and study engineering. We are thrilled for him! 

Another funny side note for you baseball moms - the ER nurse at our Texas hospital has a son that is playing D2 ball in Nebraska! They had just moved to Texas and were missing their son. He started out at a D1 school and since transferred to a D2 school and likes it better - felt going to a D1 was like having a fulltime job. Amazing how baseball ties people together!

So - don't ignore those symptoms! I am feeling so blessed today and thankful! I even get to go to my son's game tonight! "

After the heart attack, I was so good with the low-fat diet for about 6-9 months.  It bothered me to see people put butter on their rolls in front of me.  I remember talking to a nurse while I was in ICU - telling her I would never be able to eat a sausage biscuit again - she told me I would - I would forget about this experience in time and go back to some old eating habits.  Unfortunately, she was right - I did go back to eating sausage biscuits again.  My internist also told me it was unrealistic to think I would never eat pizza again - and I did.  Unfortunately, I've been losing weight and gaining weight each year - at my highest weight before surgery I was probably up 50 lbs from my heart attack weight.  My father had a history of heart disease and died of a stroke at 77 - so my family history is against me.

I do have checkups with the cardiologist every year and he does a nuclear stress test.  I had to have one before my VSG.  The last stress test did show some abnormal findings - he had to review it more closely before he cleared me for surgery.  I'm hoping I'll see some different results on that stress test next year after having this surgery.

This surgery was very important to getting my health back.  I have to take this heart disease seriously and not put my head in the sand and forget I have to take care of myself by eating a heart healthy diet, exercise, take my heart medication, and see my cardiologist regularly.  Hopefully this tool - the VSG - will help me achieve a new healthier life!



 

Getting Back to Gym

I posted the other day that I was cleared to go back to the gym on Monday and it was hard for me to walk back in that door - it had been at least 9 months since I'd been back.  And it was hard to walk in that door but I did it!!  I went later in the day and hardly anyone was there.  No one made a big deal about me being there and left me alone to do my thing.

Boy - I had been walking on our neighborhood paths for around 30 minutes each day for the past week.  The treadmill was much harder for some reason - after 10 minutes on the treadmill I was done - exhausted.  And I wasn't at a high speed or didn't have it at a high incline.  Ugh!  I then went and did light weights - no abdominal exercises (scared & still think I'm a little swollen - plus I hate abdominal exercises!).  After the weights - I did 10 more minutes on the treadmill.

I did get a Fitbit One - I'm loving watching my steps each day and trying to increase them every day.  I'm not up to the 10,000 steps yet - a little over half way there- but I'll get there.  I'm not sure I should have spent the money for the Fitbit One as it can measure your sleep but I haven't used that function yet - don't really like the wristband that you wear at night and attach it to.  I've been attaching the Fitbit to my bra and totally forget about it.  I'll have to be careful and not wash it.

Yesterday it was just as hard to make myself go back to the gym again!  When is this going to get easier?  The treadmill went a little easier and I lifted more light weights.  I'm worried about the loose skin and my arms.  I also have heart disease so exercising isn't an option for me - it is a must.  I still broke up the treadmill into 10 minute segments again - eventually I know I'll build up to more as my energy levels increase.

I really loved Zumba in the past when I was exercising more regularly - I hope I can get my energy & fitness levels up so I can go back.  Why can't I be a person who loves to exercise?  I wish I had a partner to go with to exercise but don't at this time - I do need someone to make me accountable.  Oh - well - I'm done this VSG to make myself healthier and exercise is part of this equation no matter how many excuses I come up with to get out of it.  (Did I tell you my left knee is hurting a little? - see what I mean - EXCUSES, excuses.)  I'm a work in progress!

Thankful & Shingles Story

I'm feeling very thankful today for the VSG surgery that my husband and I have recently gotten!  A little background on my 54 year old husband - he is a big guy - 6'2 - former D2 college football offensive lineman - who has always eaten a lot and fought his weight.  He was around 240 when we married 26 years ago - I was around 130.  He was diagnosed with Type II diabetes & high blood pressure probably 20 - 25 years ago.  His blood pressure has been under control with medication but not his diabetes.  He was insulin dependent and his highest weight has probably been 370 lbs. This is a long story about his shingles experience this past year - hang in there!

Last year on Memorial Day weekend, my husband just didn't feel good and thought he was getting an ear infection and  I noticed a red spot on his forehead (I thought he was getting a pimple).  I headed out on a 9 hour drive on that Tuesday to go see my  90 year old mother who was recovering from a TIA (mini-stroke) and was in a rehab.  My husband decided to see our internist on Tuesday afternoon about what he thought was an ear infection.  The internist took one look at him and told him he had shingles - it was starting in his left ear, top of his head and around his left eye.  He put him on the viral medication and gave him some pain killers.  The doctor also insisted that he immediately go see an ophthalmologist that day about the shingles and his left eye because he could go BLIND from the shingles.  The ophthalmologist put him on drops and made him come back in a week - thankfully the shingles did not get in his eye and his vision is okay.

Only about 3-4 shingles poxes crusted over - the anti-viral medication did work on the rash but did not handle the nerve pain.  The prescription pain meds made him nauseous so he handled the pain with Advil.  He works in a small office (with an hour commute each way) - turns out the president of his company had not had the chicken pox and my husband had been in the office with the rash developing before he knew it was the shingles. Thank goodness this man did not develop chicken pox from my husband (Barbara Walters got the chicken pox from an actor who was getting the shingles).  Our internist had recommended the shingles vaccination earlier that year for both of us but neither one of us had gotten it.  Not smart of us!  I immediately went to Walgreen's when I got back from helping my mother and got my vaccination - cost $250 - insurance would not cover it - and ended up having to get it at their clinic instead of through the pharmacist because I was not 60 (I am 54).

But unfortunately, the shingles story did not end there.  Let me back up - a couple of weeks before my husband broke out with the shingles, he had an episode in the middle of the night - he thought he might be having a heart attack, severe sweating, nausea, no arm or chest pain - he woke me up to help him back to bed.  Once he was flat and back in bed, he went back to sleep and woke feeling fine.  The stubborn man would not go to the doctor when he woke up and ended up going on in tot work.  Turns out this was his first episode of vertigo - we just didn't know it at the time.

About a month after he broke out with the shingles, he developed 6th nerve palsy - which means his left eye would not move to the right.  The ophthalmologist thought his diabetes was the reason for this development - we thought it was the shingles virus affecting his 6th cranial nerve.  Nothing he could do but monitor his blood sugar, patch his eye when driving, used some drops to help prevent infection, and wait it out.  It felt like this lasted forever but probably only lasted 2-3 months.

After his eye got better in the fall, my husband then starting noticing more of a ringing in his left ear, a feeling of fullness, and the coming and going of the hearing in that ear.  And more episodes of vertigo.  We went to see a ear specialist who did lots of testing on his ear and said he either had meniere's disease or vestibular neuritis caused by the shingles virus.  He gave him medicine to take whenever he experienced a vertigo episode but there was nothing he could do but wait this out as the nerves regenerated - this was affecting the 8th cranial nerve.

He had a couple of episodes of vertigo while driving - thankfully God was watching out for him and he did not have a wreck.  Once we were on a road trip and he felt the vertigo coming on and there were no exits or shoulders for him to pullover for about 10 minutes for me to takeover driving.  Thankfully he finally got to pull over and I drove the rest of the way home.  The medication for vertigo does work for him but it would make him very sleepy.

During these months of dealing with the aftermath of shingles, my husband finally started testing his blood sugar more often and realized he was not taking enough insulin.  Unfortunately, the insulin makes you hungry and he ended up gaining more weight.  It's a vicious cycle.  As I was reading message boards about shingles, meniere's disease, vestibular neuritis, post-herpetic neuralgia, 6th cranial nerve palsy, the only thing I read that really seemed to help people was anti-inflammation diet - which is basically cutting out all the white foods.  My husband wasn't ready for that and our internist said that his research didn't support that the anti-inflammation diet would help him but would be good for diabetes.  My husband tried both lyrica and gabapentin - helped some - but the lyrica made him not think clearly so he did not take that for long.  He also tried some vitamins and minerals I got from the health store - anything to help combat this illness!  The doctors all tell us that his healing from the vestibular neuritis or post-herpetic neuralgia will just take time as the nerves regenerate.

This is a long story but it's been a long year dealing with the aftermath of the shingles - his shingles broke out Memorial Day and in March he was still dealing with the fullness in his head, hearing coming and going,  and the tinnitus (which varied from ringing, buzzing to full out roaring in his head).  Most weekends he spent in bed napping and just not feeling good - he did not miss many days of work - so weekends were spent trying to catch up on rest.

ONE WEEK after his VSG surgery, my husband says this is the best he has felt in two months!!! Immediately after surgery, he did not have any ringing in his ears or the fullness feeling for a few days. It has come back but he says it's more at a manageable stage and not near as bad as it was before surgery!  As he is off of half his blood pressure and diabetes medications and his blood sugar is totally under control, we are all thrilled!  He is on the anti-inflammation diet just by default with the pre-op and post-op diets - he has lost 18 pounds in one week since surgery and 28 all together! He started the pre-op diet at around 342 lbs.

I am so thankful ALREADY that this VSG surgery is making a difference in the quality of our lives as his health will continue to improve. Hopefully this journey with the shingles will soon be OVER!!

MOTTO OF THIS STORY:  If you are over 50, please run to the pharmacy - and get your SHINGLES VACCINATION - insurance will not cover it - it's worth the $250!!! The FDA approved the vaccine for everyone over 50 in 2006. It is an individual choice but if you have any immune system disorders - you are most vulnerable to this shingles virus.

If I could do a cartwheel right now I would - that's how happy I am that my husband is FINALLY feeling better - I do feel that having his diabetes under control is making a huge difference.  Plus the anti-inflammation diet!!  HALLELUJAH!!

Back to Gym??

Okay, today I'm nervous as I head back to my gym as I've gotten the release to start working out.  I'm 4 weeks out.  My gym is smaller and geared to older adults - no kids daycare - I did really enjoy it when I was working out regularly (One of my problems - easy for me to find reasons not to go work out!).  I joined a few years ago as I know the owners and one of the trainers is my good friend.  But the problem with going to a smaller gym is that you cannot go and slip into the back row - sight unseen - they will notice me.  I haven't been there in probably 9 months.  My friend knows about my VSG surgery and is encouraging but the owners don't - I'm not sure if they will think I'm taking the easy way out - but they really don't need to know!  I just want to get on the treadmill and lift my light weights without anybody making a big deal about me getting back to working out.  Just leave me alone!!

I'm still on a soft diet - I'm really loving some baked sweet potatoes during this stage - I cook them about 5 minutes in microwave (after piercing them with fork) and then bake in the oven at 350 for about 30 more minutes. I use a little butter on it - but as I'm not eating much - it's not adding up to much.  A little bit of chicken and sweet potatoes makes a wonderful dinner!  I think also think a little bit of complex carbohydrates helps my energy levels a little.  This week I'm going to add some green beans to the mix - I know I need some green veggies.

Constipation has become a problem these past couple of weeks and probably one reason for my slower weight loss.  Last week I broke my 16 day stall as I ended up losing 2.6 lbs last week.  I'll take that loss!  I've used Milk of Magnesia a couple of times (worked in two hours) but that's not a long term solution.  I've started using Miralax in a pitcher of Crystal Light to drink all day.  Coffee in the morning used to get things going for me - doesn't always work now - but I'm drinking a cup every morning.  I'm also eating some oatmeal in the mornings - trying to get some more fiber in my diet.  New problems on this NEW NORMAL with VSG but I'll figure it out!!

Notice above that I'm making excuses already for not going back to the gym?  How typical of me!  Like the people working there will have a parade that I'm back to the gym??  My favorite saying of my mother, "You wouldn't worry so much about what people think of you if you realize how seldom they do."  The gym people probably don't realize it's been so long since I've been there - they have their own life problems to deal with & I'm not on their list to worry about! Okay - time to get off this computer and go work-out!  I can do this!!

One Week Update on Hubby!

I cannot believe we are one week past my husband's surgery and four weeks past mine!  Hallelujah!  We made it - now we just got to stick with the plan and make this tool work!  This past week my husband was home recuperating - was not his usual grumpy sick self (as with colds in the past) - he was quieter than usual but handled his surgery fine.  He never took the prescription pain medicine at home - a few Children's Tylenol but not many as he said he really was not in pain.  Yes, he was slow getting up and down and in and out of bed but did great.  He did visit our internist on Friday after Monday's surgery and I think that helped getting his blood pressure and blood sugar guidelines from the doctor that quickly.  He's off of HALF his medications.  I waited until the 2nd week to see the internist and by that time my blood pressure was too low and I was very weak.

Today he is back at work and started his pureed food diet - I packed his new Bento lunch box (from www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com recommendations) with two GNC Total Lean shakes, a Dannon Light & Fit Greek Yogurt, applesauce, Campbell's Tomato Soup (heat in the can),  & 4 whole wheat ritz crackers.  I couldn't find the blue ice packs at our grocery store so went to our local Academy to find them - they were with the ice chests and hunting supplies.  He's looking forward to refried beans for dinner!

The main concern I have with my husband going back to work (desk job) is his commute - an hour there and home.  Hopefully his energy levels will be okay to handle the commute. As he was getting bored at home, I think he was ready to get his brain working again - how much Sportscenter, basketball, American Pickers & Pawn Stars  - can one watch?? He's planning on taking a nap at lunch! Life is getting back to a NEW NORMAL!!  Oh by the way - did I mention HE LOST 16 POUNDS THIS PAST WEEK??  WOO HOO!!

Stall over & Hunger Pains

Hallelujah!!  This VSG surgery is going to work, I'm not a complete failure at dieting, I'm not the one person whose sleeve doesn't work, and all the other negative thoughts in my head were wrong!  I'm finally down - let's hear it - one pound!!  OKAY - I'LL TAKE IT - after being at the same weight -or up and down 2/10's of a pound for 16 days!!  My husband heard me shout after getting on the scale that morning and thought something was wrong - No - just happy!!!

I'm now having constipation problems which may be the reason the scale is not moving more - I'm going to have to figure this out without Milk of Magnesia - what fiber to add to my diet.  I'm on the soft foods stage so no roughage to help move things along.  I need to concentrate on getting all the water in also.

Another problem - this week I've been hungry about an hour after eating.  I've never had acid problems before but hopefully that is what this is.  I took some Gaviscon tablets last night - after doing some reading on Obesity Helps - sounds like it takes about three days to get the acid under control if that is what this is.  It also could be the leftover ghrelin in my body or the nerve endings in my stomach regrowing or coming alive - who knows.  I don't want to have hunger pains though and feel like I need to eat all the time.

What a journey!  Looks like I'm going to be a slow loser but I always have been in the past.  Slow and steady wins the race - right???

Update on Hubby

I always thought men were horrible at being patients - at least my husband usually is- but he has breezed through this surgery.  I am so surprised!  No complaining and no grumblings!  Amazing!  Now he is not ready to run any marathons and has been quieter than normal - but he is doing okay.  He has not had any prescription pain meds since leaving the hospital.  I have the Children's Chewable Tylenol - I took 3 at a time when I was recovering - but he has hardly had any.  He slept on his side the first night home from the hospital - no problems getting in and out of bed.

Yesterday I took him to our internist for a post-op appointment.  He had been on 3 diabetic medications and 3 high blood pressure meds - the doctor took him off of half of the medications already!  Pretty exciting.  And he's down 11 pounds since surgery - about 23 with the pre-op diet.

And about that pre-op diet which was supposed to be a light breakfast, one meal with a lean protein and two green veggies, and two protein shakes - that is not what he did.  He basically did a high protein- low fat - low carb diet.  He is Type II Diabetic.  We laughed when the surgeon told us his liver looked great - when hubby confessed his version of the pre-op diet - the surgeon said whatever he did worked - his liver looked great.

Of course he is already tired of the Isopure - think we are going to have some leftover Isopure bottles for sale!!  He's eating jello, some Unjury chicken soup, chicken broth, etc.  He's planning on going back to work on Monday - my only concern is his commute - an hour both ways to work.  His job is a desk job so he'll be fine with that.  Next week he starts on pureed food - I've gotten the Bento lunch box for him and we will load it up with his food to take with him.

I'm so glad surgery is over for both of us and everything went well.  God is good!

Funny Surgery Story

My 345 lb  54 yr old husband was in the surgery holding area on Monday morning - just minutes away from his VSG - and an anesthesiologist type person asked him "NOW WHAT LIFESTYLE CHANGES DID YOU TRY TO MAKE BEFORE DECIDING TO HAVE THIS SURGERY?"  

His response , "NONE!"

Hubby's thinking, "Are you Fricking kidding me - minutes away from surgery - you want to talk about all the times I've gained and lost weight through the years?  You really think I'd be getting 85% of my stomach taken out if I hadn't tried all kinds of diets and lifestyle changes??  I'm not going there with you!"  

The guy was a little taken back but I guess they went on to have a decent conversation.  I don't think this guy was in the operating room with him cause our surgeon has told us he has a woman anesthesiologist that he likes to work with. 

First Visit with NUT

Today I had my first visit with the nutritionist.  I'm on the 4th week of post-op and on the 2nd week of soft foods.  I do think she was surprised that I knew so much about what we should be eating, the rules such as chewing 25 - 30 times, no drinking with meals, etc.  She did have plastic food that was in 2 oz and 3 oz sizes which was a great visual for me to see portion amounts.

She has planned for me to eat 1300 calories a day - WOW!  No way I can eat that much at this point of my journey.  She was shocked that I had not eaten any vegetables yet - well - I'm eating soft foods now  and concentrating on the protein.  She made some good points about eating a variety of food so I do not get bored and increasing the vegetables and fruits.  She also wants me to get the majority of the protein in food rather than shakes which I understand but not possible at this point.

My plan before meeting with her was to stay in the 600-800 range and watch my protein levels, eat low carb and drink lots of water.  Now I'm a little confused as I'm in a 14 day stall.  I'm reading on Obesity Helps - what a great website and support group.  Come on scale - MOVE!!!

Husband's Surgery Experience

My husband was sleeved yesterday - he's a Type II diabetic, has high blood pressure and some other issues - he's 6'2" 343 lbs going into surgery.  Surgery went well and he had no nausea.  His pain was controlled with a morphine drip.

We were disappointed in the care with the hospitalist and how that doctor handled his blood sugar or lack of blood sugar control.  His blood sugar was a little high coming out of surgery and last night.  No insulin was given to him because he was NPO - no liquids until the barium leak test in the AM.  No blood sugar checks in the middle of the night until 5 am.  He finally got a small amount of insulin around noon along with a tray of sugary liquids to drink after the early morning barium leak test was negative.  No sugar free jello or liquids.  The blood sugar continued to rise and no visit from the hospital doctor - our surgeon said he might have to stay a 2nd night because of his high blood sugar.  The hospital doctor did not answer his pages from the nurse to increase the insulin.  My husband told the nurse he refused to stay the 2nd night (we are self-pay) because the doctor was not prescribing the correct amount of insulin and was not coming in to see him to discuss the matter.  He was tolerating liquids well, walking and getting around great.

The nursing staff during the day was great and understood his need for more insulin and how frustrating the situation was.  The hospitalist never came to see him and released him with a phone call - we got home around 6 pm.  He quickly checked his blood sugar and took his needed insulin dosage.  His blood pressure is doing great with no meds so far.

He is seeing our internist on Friday morning to go over all numbers and medications.  Pretty exciting that we are both on our way to getting healthy together!  So glad the hard part is over!  God is good!

Hubby Sleeved Today!

Quick update as it's been a long day but my husband got his vertical sleeve today also - three weeks after mine!  I'm so glad we are doing this together!  Our internist has been trying to get him to have weight loss surgery for years because of his Type II Diabetes - he has been becoming more and more dependent on insulin and having other health problems.  I guess we've made eating out and eating unhealthy a bad hobby together - not good but times are 'a changing!

His surgery took two hours - I was getting pretty nervous towards the end.  Thank goodness I had a friend with me.  Our surgeon said that my husband had a very large stomach with lots of fat around that  it made the surgery a little more complicated but a success.  He also stayed in the recovery room for a couple of hours because his oxygen levels were low.  The aides in the waiting room remembered us from my surgery three weeks ago - nice people!!

I was excited to finally see him when he got to the room - he looked good and was not in major pain.  His morphine drip did not work - took us about 45 minutes to figure out that the green light was not coming on for him to push but thankfully the nurse found another machine to switch out to fairly quickly.  Once the morphine started kicking in, he was feeling good.  He had no problems getting up to go to the bathroom and walking around the nurses station.  He loved his ice chips and was glad I brought Carmex for his lips!  He also was killing that breathing contraption that we have to do - oxygen levels were great.  I think the morphine was making him hyper.

I had packed a lunch box for me with yogurt, turkey roll-ups,  & 2 ready to drink protein shakes so I was prepared for the day.  I will admit - that since I was nervous - I did get hungry today and wanted something sweet like candy  or some other form of sweets today but of course I can't eat any of that this early out (kinda scarey for later when I can eat).  I did leave the hospital early - around 6 - as he was fine - needed to sleep and I needed to rest and take care of our dog.  Of course I had to see who won Biggest Loser and watch Dancing with the Stars.

Okay - big day tomorrow as he comes home - hope we can control the pain and get the liquids in!  And hope I can break this stall!  Meeting with the nutritionist in the morning before I go to the hospital - I'm on soft foods. Big sigh of relief and many thankful prayers tonight!

3 WEEK STALL?

Well - I'm in my third week post-op and I haven't lost a POUND in over 11 days!! UGH!  I've graduated to soft foods this week so my diet is tasting better.  I've had oatmeal, chicken, salmon, tuna fish, and mashed potatoes.  And a few whole wheat Ritz crackers with the tuna fish.  Life is getting better.

Yesterday I went to see my surgeon for my post-op visit.  He told I was doing good - was down 23 pounds from my first visit.  I told him about my stall and he told me it was because I was not eating enough calories.  My calorie intact has been around 500 each day on My Fitness Pal (love the app!) and 60 grams of protein each day.  He said I would not lose weight at that low of a calorie intact - I had put my body into starvation mode and it would not burn fat - I needed to increase my calories and eat every two hours.  In the last two weeks I've heard two statements from doctors that I never thought I would hear - "Eat more" and "Salt is your friend" (low blood pressure last week).

Turns out eating every two hours is harder than it sounds - I really am not hungry every two hours so it is hard eating more protein all the time.  I have been eating more greek yogurt and drinking two protein shakes - one in the morning and one at night to increase my protein & calories.  And it's hard to eat two ounces of chicken or fish - I do get full very fast!

It is discouraging that the scale is not moving - I am walking every day this week - getting easier every day - more energy every day.  On my old diets, I would be diving into some sweets right now about the stall - but since I physically cannot eat them right now without getting sick - I am on track!! Who knows how I'll do when this new stomach heals! It will be a test - for sure! Now come on scale - move tomorrow!  I know - I shouldn't weight every day but I do.

Pureed Diet Musings...

This blog is really a journal for me to remember this process - it may be a little boring as I journal my thoughts along the way.

This pureed diet is a challenge because I am lactose intolerant and also have a problem with eggs - that seems to be what's all on the list.  Yesterday I tried to make myself eat a little more to see how my sleeve would do and not be so dependent on shakes.  I tried the Instant Cream of Wheat package with 2/3 cup water (instead of having it runny like I did earlier in the week) with Splenda Brown Sugar  - I ate half of it - that was okay.  I had some chicken noodle soup that I pulverized in my little food processor for lunch and a few bites of lactose-free cottage cheese for dinner.  I had also had a shake during the day - so I noticed that on My Fitness Pal I was still running low on protein so I tried to eat some greek yogurt with a lactaid pill and I just couldn't finish it - felt bloated as I went to bed.  And I woke up this morning feeling bloated.

Okay - this paragraph may need skipping as I give out TMI on bathroom issues.  I always have had them with irritable bowel syndrome.  What I've noticed during the pre-op diet and since - is that I can't always tell what is just gas anymore and have had a few incidences where it wasn't - yes Al Roker - I can relate!!  Doing lots of washing.  I seem to be transitioning from diarrhea or all water the first week post-op to something with a little more substance.  As I wake up feeling a little bloated and like I need to go, my cream of wheat and a few sips of decaffeinated coffee seems to be doing the trick.  (I'm beginning to feel like my 91 year old mother who seems to be obsessed with her bowel movements - I'm so sorry - please God don't let me turn into her!!!) And I haven't lost anything in 5 days.

I think it's a lactose thing that is making me feel bloated even though I'm taking the lactaid - think I need to try some of the Synthrax shakes today that aren't milk based - have a sample of a Strawberry Kiwi one to try later on today.  I'm noticing that some of the protein powders I've bought have milk products in them - uh-oh - may need to send to my boys (who use protein shakes working out).  Maybe I'll try some pureed chicken salad today. Today my goal is to get 60 grams of protein in!  And to walk!  I've been neglecting walking since my energy was so low - it's getting better so no excuses nowfor starting a walking program.

Have a great day!!

Ann

Better Day Today!

Today I felt better as I learned from my mistakes on Wednesday.  I've always had a sensitive digestive system as I've dealt with irritable bowl syndrome since my twenties.  I'm going to have to be super careful and slow about the foods I introduce to my new sleeve.  I had a few bites of a baked sweet potato today - left it at that.  Drinking a protein shake now to get all my protein in today.

I had to go to our local mall today to the Apple Store to get my computer worked on - what I thought would be a 10 minute appointment turned into a 45 minute wait.  Ugh!  Since I didn't have the energy to walk the mall or shop - I went to the food court and got a glass of iced tea.  About 6 vendors approached me with samples - none appealed to me.  As I sat there enjoying my tea, I was amazed that the pizza and other food smells didn't bother me!  All I had had for lunch was some greek yogurt.  Maybe this loss of the ghrehlin thing is a real thing!!! A wonderful thing!  I couldn't have sat there before surgery without wanting to get something.

Good day - had more energy but still felt like a little old lady walking into the mall and the grocery store today!

Rough Day/Night!

Yesterday I saw my internist for my post-op visit and discussed my low blood pressure  and low energy. He adjusted my medicine - took me off a lot of meds and my main blood pressure medicine.  Since I have heart disease, I'm still on one medicine that slows my heart and affects my blood pressure - but now only one at night.  My doctor told me I needed some salt and to get some mashed potatoes.  So I did and a little bit of white fish that I really smashed and chewed.  And I could not eat a 1/4 cup of mashed potatoes.  Felt kinda strange but okay.  Week two is a pureed food with my surgeon but they advise to take it slow.

So I thought I'd try some of Eggface's protein ice cream last night.  I love her website! (Don't know how to link to it yet - I need to learn).  What I made had some added Hershey's Sugar Free Caramel Syrup (had no problems when I used a little in the pre-op diet with shakes), Almond Milk since I'm lactose intolerant, and a little bit of Land O'Lakes Sugar Free Whipped Cream. 

WHAT WAS I THINKING?  Evidently almond milk and the syrup & cream or the mashed pototoes did not agree with my body as I was in agony all night.  It was a lower intestine pain - spent the morning in the bathroom and I'm finally feeling a little better.  DUMB - too soon too fast.  

Today I'm back to clear liquids, water, G2 Gatorade and Isopure (the blue flavor is gross but I'm drinking it!).  I will try some Unjury Chicken Soup for dinner to get more protein in.

I do have irritable bowel syndrome and have always had to be careful with what I eat as so many foods trigger problems for me.  I'm just thankful I did not end up in the emergency room!  And I was up on the scale today - bloated from the intestinal pain - serves me right trying to move too fast.  Glad this day is almost over!!!

Salt is My Friend Today?????

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 6, 2013

I've been battling low blood pressure these past couple of days after being on high blood pressure medicine for probably the past twenty years.  I have absolutely no energy.  Today I went to see my internist for my post-op appointment and brought him my blood pressure readings.  When I was scared Friday & Saturday when my blood pressure was higher and I kept taking medicine - he said that was nothing.  He did change my medication - no longer on my main high blood pressure medication.  Because I have heart disease, I'm still on Plavix, Simvastatin, and Metropropol (which does affect my blood pressure).  I'll wait to add the daily aspirin until I'm on full foods.

What shocked me was when he told me that I needed some salt (today) in my diet and to get some carb calories in for energy.  Since I just started pureed foods at one week out, I'm still scared to eat much.  Yesterday I pulverized some chicken with some chicken broth and ate a 1/4 cup.  Pretty gross.  Had some cream of wheat - no taste and really no nutritional value.  I'm getting my protein in from shakes and greek yogurt.  So I went to our local Luby's and got a LuAnn plate with baked fish and mashed potatoes - no roll.  I tried to eat maybe an ounce of the fish mashed (none of the toppings) and 1/4 cup of mashed potatoes with salt! Got almost all of that in until I started to feel a little uncomfortable - I'm new at this sleeve business so I don't know how much I can really eat yet.  Yes - those mashed potatoes tasted wonderful - in MY Fitness Pal they were 69 calories 6.3 carbs and 1.4 grams of protein.  Ok - fat was 4.6 grams.  I'm having the same for dinner - with SALT !

I know I won't be eating salt for long as my blood pressure stabilizes but it really made me feel better.  So strange to hear a doctor tell a fat person to eat salt!!!  Oh - I had lost 10 pounds since my visit to see him the week before surgery!!  Yeah!!!

Hopefully my energy will come back this week so I can get some exercise in - more than walking around my house each hour!  What a journey this is!!

One Week Out!

MONDAY, MARCH 4, 2013

Wow!  I woke up this morning excited I was a week out but man - absolutely no energy at all today.  Thank goodness I did not have anything important going on and could rest today.  I also got to start on the puree stage - which makes me nervous about what I can eat.

I started off with a little bit of Cream of Wheat with some splenda - needed some butter and brown sugar!  Guess I still have a long way to go in conquering my food addictions!  I had some greek yogurt and a GNC Total lean shake - I like those!  My stomach felt a little upset - had some Tums and some Lactaid with the yogurt.  Hope I can eat these since I'm starting to become more lactose intolerant.

I called the doctor's office on my weakness - the nurse said I needed to get some calories in - that was hard to do on the clear liquid diet.  I can also take the chewable vitamins now and also a chewable B12.  Hope this helps.  My blood pressure was totally normal today without medication - weird since it was high Friday & Saturday with medication - guess the healing is taking place.  I will see my internist this week and am documenting the BP.

Good news is that I'm down 10 lbs since last Monday!!  Yeah!

Sunday Musings....

SUNDAY, MARCH 3, 2013

Sunday musings...

Well - today is the first day I feel really weak.  I think it's because my blood pressure has been kinda crazy the past couple of days and is finally down today.  Going to see the internist tomorrow about it and for the one week post-op visit.

I am so grateful that I am almost a week past surgery - this time last Sunday I was working myself into a nervous frenzy - cleaning out my closet, writing letters to my family in case something happened, etc. God is good - everything went fine and I'm pain free!  And I've lost 9.4 lbs since last Monday!!!  Woo! Hoo!

My husband starts his 14 day pre-op diet tomorrow - he just ordered his last meal - a pizza.  Smells good but somehow that 9.4 lbs seems more worth it!  I'm excited for his journey to start - this next week will be tough for him to be on the diet as he will be traveling this week but he can do it - I have faith!!

To be honest, today is the first day I've really gotten out of my nightgown into clothes - I just haven't wanted anything around my waist.  And my bra feels tight around my rib cage - must be cause the one incisions is right below the center of my bra.  Yes,  I've been taking it very easy - guess I'll join the world this next week!  Hope my energy comes back!

Feeling very grateful and thankful that this past week has past!  I'll say it again - God is good!