Thursday, March 7, 2013

Going Through the Emotions

This has been a tough month emotionally meeting with doctors, having tests, and trying to decide what to tell family and friends about the decision to have the weight loss surgery - vertical sleeve  gastrectomy (VSG).  It is also a tough decision to make as we found out our insurance does not cover bariatric surgery in any shape, form or fashion even though it will make huge differences in the health of my husband and I.  We will be paying for it ourselves.  In the long run, the surgery will pay for itself with the health benefits, etc.  Just took us awhile mentally to get there. Checkmark -  Decision made to have surgery!

The bariatric surgeons my internist recommended were a lot more expensive than the surgeon I found.  This surgeon had a great staff and spent an hour and a half with me going over the surgery and recovery. I liked him and his staff. I called my internist to ask about this surgeon and he called me back personally and visited about fifteen minutes about this surgeon - he knew him well and thought he was an excellent surgeon - just did not practice at the same hospital as my internist.  The internist is very conservative (has been our doctor for 18 years through various health problems so we trust his guidance) and gave this surgeon his approval.  I went ahead and met with the more expensive bariatric surgeon to make sure I wasn't making a mistake based on a sheer financial decision.  His office staff was a little rude, extremely busy, and I waited longer.  When I got to meet with him, he spent maybe 10 minutes with me.  (I had had to watch a video presentation or attend a seminar by him before I had the appointment.) He asked me questions such as "Why not the bypass or lap band?" For some reason he intimidated me and I had a hard time feeling comfortable with him.  It was part my fault that the appointment did not last longer as he kept asking me if I had any questions and I could not think of anything at that time - the other surgeon had really informed me - as well as all the message boards.  He is an excellent surgeon but not for me.  Checkmark - surgeon found!

Next on my list was getting the cardiac clearance because I had a heart attack in 2007.  I had already made an appointment with cardiologist for my annual appointment back in December (turns out I missed last year - yes, I've had my head in the sand about my having heart disease) so off I go to discuss with him about my heart and his opinions on me having the surgery.  He was definitely for the surgery - said getting the weight off would help with my heart.  He gave me the EKG and I had to have the nuclear treadmill stress test - UGH!  Since I am not consistent with my exercise and going to the gym or walking, that frightened me - I've had two before.  It's never as bad as my imagination.  My cardiologist said we could do the  chemical version since I told him I was out-of-shape.  I had it a couple of days after the appointment and the guys running the test decided I should try the treadmill since I had done it before - and I did it.  Note to self: please stay consistent with the exercise - you do have heart disease!  On the way home,  I couldn't drive through to get fast food - I stopped and got a salad!  The next day I go to the internist for the  pre-op clearance and testing (blood work, orders for chest ex-ray & h-pyloric breath-tek.  Uh-oh - he tells me I didn't pass the Nuclear Stress Test - showed some abnormalities - he immediately calls the cardiologist and they talk about my case right then and there in front of me - cardiologist thinks the abnormalities have been there since the heart attack and will study my case some more but I will probably still be approved because this will help my heart disease.  And of course this is a Friday and I won't hear anything til Monday.  Checkmark- part of my pre-op appointments & tests done!

On Monday I started my pre-op diet and got my chest ex-ray & h-pyloric test.  Of course I start the diet three pounds heavier because I've been eating everything I can think of in anticipation.  Yes, I know I wasn't supposed to but that spaghetti, pizza, steak dinner, wine, etc. was really great!  And I ate all the cake and sweet stuff at a baby shower in front of a bunch of women - something as a larger gal I would usually never do in front of people - usually only in private! (Think I might have some issues to work on??)  My surgeon's pre-op diet is a little different - a light breakfast (can have an egg, oatmeal, toast or cereal) and a light meal (lean protein and two green veggies) and two protein shakes or protein in greek yogurt.  No fats or white stuff.  Can have another shake or low fat snack if hungry.  I've been trying to stay busy to keep my mind off what I'm missing - so far the cravings are okay and I know the sugar & carb cravings will decrease if I just stick to it. My husband told me, "You don't have a choice sticking to this diet - he won't do the surgery if your liver has not shrunk" - good motivation. Yes - I still miss my Diet 7-up in the mornings - love the carbonation- but so far have not succumbed.  At the end of the day I get the call from the cardiologist's nurse - I have his cardiac approval. Checkmark - CARDIAC CLEARANCE (YEAH!) and all lab work completed. 

Next up on my list- telling friends & family!  Next blog!

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