One Year Ago - What I WISH I HAD KNOWN!

This time last year I was nervous, scared, excited, worried, depressed, sleepless, etc. as I was researching VSG, meeting doctors, doing pre-op testing, and making the decision to have surgery.  Needless to say, I was a basket case in wondering if I was making the biggest mistake of my life to have 85% of my stomach removed.  One minute I was excited - the next minute I was beating myself up for letting myself get into this bad obese shape in the first place.  After much thought, prayer, and discussion with health officials and my husband, my surgery was scheduled for the end of February.

If I was being honest with you, I never ever thought deep down I could be successful in any program more than the usual 20-30 pounds I could ever lose before I gave up with whatever diet I was doing. I really thought I needed to just make peace with the fact that I was an overweight woman.  If there were not major health issues for both myself and my husband (also scheduled for surgery a month after mine), I don't think I would have made the decision to have VSG. I was hopeful that this surgery would work - but really not sure.  The more research I did, the more hopeful I got.

1.  BEST DECISION EVER MADE!  I'm a completely different person a year later - 71 pounds down - not at goal 10 months out but working on it!

2. My health would be immediately impacted!  Even doing the pre-op diet, my blood pressure medication was decreased & eventually stopped.  I have heart disease.  My internist is thrilled - at 10 months out - my blood work looks better than it has in the past 10 years - he says "You have saved your life!".

3.  I was so worried about what to tell people this time one year ago.  What I've learned - the people who I thought would be supportive were and the people I was worried out telling - their response wasn't always great (Only had one person really be negative).  So listen to your gut. I did not tell my mother (who wasn't in great health) until after the surgery was over - good decision as I did not want her input or her to worry.  As I talked to her every day - the day of the surgery I did tell a few white lies - that I was busy all day.  I did talk to her that night after the surgery but cut the call quickly as I told her I had a migraine.  Her reaction when I did tell her was wonderful - she was glad I was doing something about my health and was very proud.

4.  Telling people was hard - I'm talking about this again as this was a big deal to me.  Some people I really don't want to know - but I've found out - people talk - they are amazed that I'm losing weight and have to tell others about it.  Even though I really don't want people that aren't close to me to know about my surgery - the word spreads.  Oh well.

5.  The food funeral and mourning never being able to eat food again.  The food funeral is a waste of time as you will be able to eat almost anything you want again - different people have problems with some foods - but as you get farther out - you can eat almost anything.  Now that being said, even though I can eat pizza - it's not a good choice for me - not going to happen very often.  My food funeral was a steak dinner at our favorite restaurant with appetizer, salad, steak, potato, dessert, bread and wine.  I've since been back with the family and now my meal there is a shared salad with dressing on the side, a filet mignon, asparagus and a bite of someones potato - and a to go box.  No big loss there.  Even though I can go to a Mexican restaurant and I have - not a good choice cause it's still hard to stay out of the chips.

6.  Holidays.  I was so worried about not enjoying the holiday food again.  Again choices to make - I cooked the usual Thanksgiving dinner.  I chose to eat mostly the turkey and a bite of each of my favorite dishes.  Splenda pumpkin pie for dessert.  Not a big deal.  I made the choice and my family supported me not to have all the sweets around during Thanksgiving and Christmas because those are trigger foods for me.

7.  Stalls.  Just get used to them.  Happen all the time and weight seems to come off in a stair step fashion - down a couple of pounds - stay there a while and then down 1/2, rinse repeat.  I don't lose 5 lbs every week now that I'm farther out.  I'm thrilled with a 2 lb loss.  I'm trying really hard to remember that this is a process and will take a while.

8.  I'm the one person that this surgery won't work on.  My biggest fear one year ago.  70 pounds down 10 months later.  Case closed.

9.  Diet Drinks.  I was really worried about giving up the diet drinks as I've been horribly addicted since college days drinking a diet Dr. Pepper every morning for breakfast.  I loved my Diet 7-up, Diet Dr. Pepper and Diet Ginger-Ale.  The funeral should be for the carbonated drinks as I've truly given them up - different people debate on the message boards about diet sodas and but I've decided not to even go back there at all at this time.  Probably the one thing I really miss but just not going back at this time.

10.  Planning.  Biggest part of success.  Before I go out to eat, I have a game plan in my head or have already looked at the menu online to decide.  Food at home always that are on plan - canned tuna, frozen cocktail shrimp, greek yogurt, etc.  A protein bar & crystal light packets for water are always with me in my purse.

11.  Journaling.  Must record every bite of food with My Fitness Pal.  HUGE!

12.  Travelling.  Yes - you can travel again - but going back up to number 10 - make a plan - go to a grocery store wherever you are and get food for your refrigerator in the room.  Take food with you. I haven't stayed in someones house yet - that would be a different obstacle.

13.  Exercise.  One year ago I never thought I'd be working out with a trainer 3 times a week or biking with my husband on the weekends 7-8 miles.  Never ever thought it would happen.  Oh yeah - I still don't like to exercise - probably never will.  But I love how I feel and want this journey to work.  Working with the trainer makes me get to the gym.  No excuses - makes me accountable.

14.  Diet Advice.  Be prepared for everyone to give you advise on how they lose weight and what plan they follow.  They will be excited for you but automatically think you are following their plan of vegetarian, the 80-20 plan - eat good 80% of the time, etc.  Go ahead - have a bite -it's on my plan.  Just stay your course.

15.  Head work.  Most important and probably what I didn't realize was so important one year ago.  Yes, your stomach will be 85% gone but the brain stays the same.  Got to figure out why I overeat and why I emotionally eat.  Yes - the urges to eat at night are still there.  UGH - just give me a pill to solve it - not gonna happen.

16.  IBS - major problem through my life and a major concern.  I think it's actually gotten better as my diet was improved - more water, less sugar and junk food.  But I never realized that the bathroom issue has been one of the biggest struggles for me.  Constipation major problem and a constant battle.

17.  Comparing myself to others.  One year ago and I didn't really know how hard this was going to be for me as I read the message boards and see how fast others are losing.  My battle - my course - my weight to lose - my new history.  I'm imperfect and will make mistakes along the way - but just stay the course and the weight will come off however slowly.

Update

Wow - haven't updated in awhile - want to keep journaling this weight loss journey.  I'm down about 8 pounds since my last post in October.  I'm not winning any speed weight loss competitions but overall I'm down 70 lbs!  Whoo Hoo!  Never in my life would I have thought at this time last year I'd be down this much.

Last year at this time I was doing research on this surgery, reading message boards, depressed I would even be so overweight to even contemplate such a drastic measure as weight loss surgery. I didn't think financially we could do this as we were thinking insurance wouldn't pay for it.  (They didn't).  At this time last year I was thinking about starting another diet.  I was getting so discouraged in setting unattainable New Year's Resolutions - I'm good for 20-30 pounds then would gain it back.  I was thinking I needed to get back to the gym but was embarrassed to go back.

My husband had his annual physical appointment in early January last year and talked to our internist about the surgery.  He came home saying "Let's do this".  I immediately started making appointments with doctors to get the ball rolling.  I was so scared and excited to be taking a different step towards some health goals.

Wow - what a difference a year makes!  I never thought I'd be 70 pounds down - hubby 100 pounds down!  Never thought I'd be going to a trainer three times a week!  Never thought my husband would just buy a new bike to get his exercise program going again!  I never thought I'd have so much energy or feel so much better about myself.  Never thought I'd be able to buy regular clothes again - so exciting to be wearing a 14P Talbots pant and an XL or L regular size.  Those pants are big on me too!  I'm not able to visualize what my weight loss body looks like - still feel fat!

I do still have a large tummy - I need to lose at least 25-30 more pounds.  I'm almost to just "overweight" on the BMI scale!  That will be an awesome day!

It felt so good to get through the Christmas/New Year's week with only a 2 lb gain.  I didn't make my usual sweets and tried some sugar-free desserts.  The junk food sitting around such as Chex Mix and nuts did contribute to some of the gain.  I also an snacking more and not tracking.  Some cravings are back and night time eating.  UGH - not "under my feet" as I contemplated in an earlier blog - think I will always have to face those demons.

Some major accomplishments were a 6 lb weight loss from Thanksgiving to before Christmas!  Saying "NO" to most candy & sweets!  Keeping up my exercise schedule!  Having so much more energy!  My biggest accomplishment is probably my blood work results - my C Reactive Protein is normal for the 1st time in 10 years!!  Other blood work looks great also.  My hormone levels are all low so I need to do so investigating on that to see if I'm going to start hormones - breast cancer family history.  My Gyn says I'm safe to start taking them.

I'm so happy we went on this journey!  I would like to tell myself last year at this time that everything would be okay - this will be a great decision and you will be successful!

Now - time to regroup and get totally back on track.  No late night snacking, logging all food, more cardio, cut out the crackers, etc.  Life is good!  I may not be at goal at one year out but I'll no longer be obese!