Emotional Eating

I think in my last blog I was bragging about how well I did losing weight during the last couple of stressful months with my mom breaking her hip and eventually passing away.  I'm so thankful for the sleeve because it did allow me to lose weight during this stressful time.  But I also think part of the weight loss was that I was so busy, running on adrenaline, cleaning out my mother's apartment then nursing home room, and very active.  I did not take my pedometer - wish I had of -lots of steps every day!

Today it's three weeks out since my mother died and I'm having more time to process things.  And I'm having a hard time staying out of the kitchen snacking - I'm constantly wanting to eat.  I'm not hungry - just have the urge to munch.  I was up 2 pounds this week so yes - it is a battle.  (So much for me bragging about how well I was doing while out-of-town.)  I've been back on My Fitness Pal - I wasn't logging my food consistently during the last couple of months.  When I logged my food - my calories were way up - 1000 -1200.  I wasn't eating anything terrible - no cookies or other sweets (which is what I love) but the gluten free Rice crackers, popcorn, and other carbs.  Guess when you do eat carbs you crave more carbs.

My plan of action - up my exercise, log my food, try to deal with my emotions instead of eating them, and get more water in.  Since my problem is mainly at night after dinner, I'm trying to eat a more satisfying dinner at night - maybe more fat plus protein so I'm not craving food as much.  My internist is always saying we need some fat in our diet to keep us satisfied.  Maybe the weight loss will be a little slower during this time, but I've got to get a handle on the emotional eating and go through the grieving process.

I've gone back to the personal trainer and have upped my sessions from two a week to thee times a week.  I hate to exercise and find any excuse not to go so hopefully meeting a trainer will take those excuses away.  My gym & trainer that I feel comfortable with is closing this week so I've been looking at all my options - have found one and a new trainer for the next month so hopefully my game plan will work.  I was really worried about me just staying home being depressed and not getting out of the house.  I'm about halfway from my goal-still overweight - so I still feel like a fat person walking into these gyms checking them out - don't like the ones with all the beautiful people.  I also don't like the "meathead" trainers I've met who have been giving me tours asking me my "fitness" goals - can't they just tell I'm a 55 year old overweight woman who needs to lose weight and get in shape?? Ugh!  - guess that's a topic for another blog.

I am down a pound today from upping the exercise - now I just need to keep up with the food logging and water.  This is a journey - not an overnight process.  I do have emotions - just need to realize that and not eat them away.  So grateful I've had the surgery - I do feel like I can reach my goal.  Oh and a NSV (non scale victory) - I can cross my legs now!!!

Stress & Traveling!

My91 year old mother passed away last Friday night.  I'm very thankful I was able to travel and be there a few hours before she died.  I'm also thankful God was gracious and did not let her hang on for months - she did not want to be in a nursing home no matter how nice it was.  She wanted to be active and blowing and going!

I'm so thankful I have had this surgery - I just weighed this morning and lost 2.2 pounds this past week while traveling, planning a funeral and going through the funeral!  And the best news of all was I had to buy a funeral dress and I bought my first dress in a NORMAL SIZE -  not a woman's size!!  My mother would be so proud!!  I also proudly got my picture taken with my family - no longer hiding in the very back!  I'm halfway from where I want to be but have so much more self-confidence now - it's a great feeling!  I've lost 13 pounds since this stressful situation started on Mother's Day - that is so hard for me to believe that I can go through a stressful situation and lose weight!

I also realize the next few months will be hard as I will always be an emotional eater and I have to go through the grieving process -  I think I'm in shock right now.  I need to get back on track with my water & protein, logging into My Fitness Pal and exercising - it would be very easy to fall into depression.  I do have some good friends and family support to help keep me on track.  I do love my carbs so I'm going to have to watch that - I love to snack.  Plan, plan and more planning my food.

It was fun seeing a couple of friends who had had no idea I'd had the surgery - they didn't want to say anything at the funeral about me losing weight - so I had to bring it up to them. They were happy! I still have a hard time telling how much weight I've lost as I'm embarrassed at where I started - but I did tell them!  My husband got all the attention - he's lost 70 pounds since this process started - he looks great!  I guess people have no problem talking to men about their weight - very proud of us both!